I moved from the 35-39 age group to the 40 age group on Friday. I have such mixed emotions about this. The fact that I'm 40 doesn't bother me so much really. The fact that I'm 40, childless, and not pregnant is about to kill me.
I'm so so tired--mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. It just wasn't supposed to be this way. I've given up my biological link and moved on to donor eggs. I've made my peace with this. Mostly. I do know that I want to be a mother; I also know that it has been more than proven that it just won't happen with my own eggs. This is my option, and I'm embracing it.
Something needs to happen, because I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.