Hi ladies,
Some of you might remember me from my previous cycles. My first fresh DE cycle resulted in a triplet pregnancy, which ended in a miscarriage and the second DE cycle resulted in a blighted ovum. The frozen cycle was a disaster with only 1 out of 3 beautiful blasts (all 4AAs) surviving the thaw and getting a BFN in the end.
I have been ttc#1 for nine years and I am 33 -- did 7 IUIs and 5 IVFs with my own eggs before trying DE with my younger sister's eggs. What we learned from the two fresh cycles with my sister's eggs was that even though she's very young, her FSH is borderline at 9.5 and she doesn't have a great antral follicle count (6-8 follicles per cycle). Now we are concerned about her own fertility 
. She has one child already, but is now trying for a second one.
Fast forward to now. We decided to use an anonymous proven donor from our clinic's pool. My whole family loves her and we all really hope it works on the first try. However, we decided to go with a shared risk program this time. We have already spent over $70,000 out of pocket in the last nine years and are scared to lose more money. Every single time because of my age and low FSH, my REs have been telling me that this cycle should work, that's why I never even considered a shared risk program until now. What scares me though is how much money we have to borrow to make it happen. It will cost us over $30,000 not including medications and pre-cycle testing of the donor. If we decide to pay per cycle, it will cost us only a little over $12,000, including donor's compensation. However, if this cycle doesn't work, I'll really regret not going with this program . I don't know what to do... My dh and I both have professional jobs, but we don't make much and our jobs are not secure. Plus I know it's crazy, but I am already thinking about what if it works this time and then when I want a second child, I won't ever be able to afford another cycle if I borrow over $30,000 now. My dh thinks that we should just go for it because we live only once and what is more debt when it might mean that I finally have a baby and am happy after so many years of hell?
We just found out today we were accepted into this shared risk program. We were very nervous that they wouldn't accept us because of two miscarriages. Maybe it's fate and I should go for it, meaning I should just borrow this much money to give myself a piece of mind?
Thanks for listening,
Kite