I'm sorry if this topic has been beaten to death, but I did a sort of search (brain kind of overloaded today) and didn't really see anything that answered too much of my particular situation, so I'm asking and hoping for wisdom, or arrows pointing in the right direction, etc. 
I barely conceived my son with my first IVF 3 years ago - RE discussed probable need for DE then based on egg quality concerns. Since then we've had no luck conceiving again, despite lots (and lots) of testing, new protocols, two failed IVFs (one BFN, one chemical) and in consult today RE told me to basically accept that I have one child and move on.
DE only got discussed because I brought it up.
Anyway... 
I've kind of known that I'd probably have to resort to this if I wanted to conceive again, so I've lurked and thought about it since my 11/08 failed IVF. And the thing that I get stuck on is how I would explain to my child (if I got so lucky) about DE. How people handle this. Do they tell. When. How. How do you handle your feelings if like me, your bio child is soooo your child (personality traits, physical appearance) and you know that while your child, a DE child really isn't technically yours.
And how the process works. Do you go through your RE's office? Is there stuff to know or to watch out for?
Sorry for the totally newbie questions, but feel free to refer me to old threads if you don't feel like rehashing all the same questions and answers that have been asked millions of times before.
And feel free to offer a hug, since I sure need one today.
Thanks.