Hello -
This is my first post to this group. I hate that we all have to be here in this group. I feel like we've all been through so much in dealing with infertility, to then have a glimmer of hope, which is then taken away is so cruel. I've read through many of your posts, and see that many of you have many of the same feelings of guilt (I too, felt guilty that I was too pessimistic about this pregnancy to really enjoy it). You all articulate this much better than I can though.
I know I need to wait until the medical tests and autopsy comes through, but I'd like to know if anyone had experience a loss in the same manner we have. Forgive me if this is insensitive...I just want to find some possibilities in the event we decide to try again.
My son was a happy result of our first attempt at IVF. We felt even more fortunate that it worked, as I just turned 39, and statistically was given lower odds of success because of my age. The pregnancy had been an easy one, up until last week (nuchal screen came back normal, etc, and we didn't do any invasive testing). I lost my baby boy on April 29 @16.5 weeks. I started to bleed, with egg-white cervical mucus (new), and went into my OB office. She said it's just blood twinged mucus and I can resume my normal activities and even go through with my travel plans. The next day, I had a couple of clots, so I went back. At that, she checked, and my cervix was open and dilated, and immediately sent me to Labor and Delivery. I gave birth the following day and held my son until he died. I didn't even need to have the labor induced, he just passed while I was in the bathroom, and I caught him (thank god!). The only signs of problems were my high white blood cell count. The baby was of normal gestational age and had a healthy heartbeat; my pap smears and urinalysis just before, were all negative. It's all really traumatic, and I've been reliving it in my mind for the past week.
I guess my question is, if I had an infection, as the hospital Drs seem to think, would I have passed the baby so quickly, and would he have been born alive and at the right size for his gestational age? The Drs didn't think I had an incompetant cervix, since my white blood cell count was elevated. But they told me that when they see an infection or blood clotting problem, usually the baby dies in utero. Is that true?
I hope it was OK that I ask this question here. Trying to find answers is one way I am coping with my grief. I'm so very sorry to all of you for your losses.
Michelle