I just wanted to say that after 6 weeks of non-stop crying and a spiraling depression, since deciding to go ahead and have a 2-1 reduction, I am feeling so much better. I still have moments of questioning, of thinking that I could manage twins and should just go for it. But I do believe the people here who have said this should not be a decision you make with your heart. My head knows that my sanity and stability, my marriage, my 3 yo, and my future child etc. will all be much better off in so many ways.
I have to say I do not think I could have come to this realization without these boards and hearing from others who have been in a similar situation. There are several things that were said to me here that I think about on a daily basis and that really reassured me that I could survive this and even begin to enjoy my pregnancy and start connecting with our future child.
My OB was also very supportive. I was so worried about telling her this was something I was thinking about. I made my husband come with me to the appointment and I basically cried the entire time while he talked about our situation and his concerns for my mental health. The doctor could not have been better. I realized that if I were to continue with the twin pregnancy I would have to go on anti-depressant medication and I absolutely hate the idea of doing that. I really believe that I will be okay in this regard after the reduction. I hope this is correct. I have also gone back to therapy which has been immensely helpful.
I know these days leading up to the procedure are going to be very difficult and I am absolutely dreading the s/r itself. I just hope and pray that I will begin to feel hopeful and connected after it is over.
Thank you again to you here who have been such great support!