we're all set for our first (& hopefully last DE cycle) coming up in november. i just got back from europe and a visit w my family. they are small minded, bible bashing people at the best of times so i would never tell them that we're doing IVF or that now we're moving on to DE. they do know that we've been ttc for years but they don't know re all the ivf cycles etc.
two of my sisters are pg and due before the holidays. so the whole family is excited about that, as they should be. i guess i probably shouldn't have gone over there as it was much harder than i had anticipated. obviously i love my sisters and i'm thrilled for them...but i also got a lot of just relax, maybe it's not meant to be, why not adopt questions.
i had my heart set on DE even though it's so expensive, stressful and the outcome is uncertain, especially as we also have severe MF and i've immune issues. maybe i would have been smarter to jump straight to adoption? at least there's actually a real life baby in that equation?
our reasons for wanting to do DE are - i adore my DH and want to at least have his dna reproduced, i want to experience a pg, i want to control the babies environment from day 1, i want to nurse and bond w my child...so why am i left feeling so guilty about this DE decision now?