We are considering a 3/1 reduction. I just got the news yesterday at 6w2d that of the 2 embryos that we put back in, one split and now have identicals and a singleton. I hate to say it, but our worst nightmare.
We already have one 21 month old dd that is our world and we were just trying for one more. Putting back in two, i thought worst case, twins and we got excited about that actually.
The news yesterday was devesting to say the least and i cannot stop crying or all the other emotion that i am feeling. Today, i feel no matter what i decison we make, that i will never be "me" again.
I feel that this pregnancy became even higher risk bc of the identicals and the thought that one, two or three could have health issues is frightening. I also hate to admit that DH and I are afraid we are not going to be the parents we wanted and were hoping to be. I am afraid for my marriage.
DH is a small business owner and works a lot...because he has to. I feel providing for a family of 6 we would never see him and he cannot take off time from work to help when the babies would be born. (he can barely take off one day at this point)
We are looking at all sides to this and i am 50-50 right now in the decision that we will have to make in the next month or so. I am so nervous about losing baby B (they are a1, a2 and b) due to the s/r procedure. What is the likely hood of that happening. I was also told by RE that they always reduce the identicals...is that ALWAYS the case? i know they are higher risk..but is it ALWAYS the case?
Then my greatest fear...how am i going to live with myself after the procedure..how am i going to "enjoy" the pregnancy, will my guilt overcome me?
I am just at odds with myself right now and have so much uncertaintly...will it ever get better?