Hi ladies,
SO, negative hpt 9dp3dt. WHITE as snow. The other times I've been pregnant, it's shown up at around 6dp3dt, so I'm pretty sure it's a no-go here.
BUT it's that sad speck of hope that burns in us all that is lovely, sure, but makes us crazy people. Or, makes ME a crazy person.
I've taken -- no lie -- 8 hpts today. 8!!! WTF? I think I've lost my mind. I've always been stressed during 2ww, but this takes the cake. I'm seriously tempted to run out and buy more. Completely irrational. Also, yelled at dh for an hour in fit of tears. Nice.
Just feel so SHATTERED. SO EXHAUSTED. I know you ladies understand. I almost brought it up with my friend today at lunch, but decided against it, as, frankly, I find it too difficult to talk about with women who are not in similar boat... It's been a bumpy ride, particularly after the loss of our baby girl at 16weeks last summer. And all the surgeries over the past 5 years. AND, the kicker is that I would LOVE to adopt but now practically every country in Asia (where I live) has some sort of ban on adoption! It's nuts. Here I am in a country with unwanted babies being thrown into trash cans daily, and I cannot adopt one of them?? Argh.
Sorry -- needed to vent. Love you gals. You have no idea how important this site is to me. Every HPT just brings such happiness to me, as I feel I am you, you are me...
xoxo
