Hi Ladies,
I lurk on this board a lot, though do not post much. I find the woman on this board so amazing and funny and love that you really get it. I am not sure if I am vet, though I am in so much pain lately that this was the only place I feel safe posting about some of the problems I am having with interyoungihmsonal relationships lately. First a little background---I have had 3 losses following IVFs (if you count the one I am in the middle of as I write this (possibly ectopic)), the one this spring was particularly horrific when I lost my twins following a burst ovarian cyst and have had 6 reproductive surgeries since March. Also, my very narcissistic, younger sister gave birth to her third during my last cycle (to date I have not received a call from her about the loss I am now exyoungihmiencing). Sorry to bog you down with the background, but I just wanted to let you know how fragile I am at the moment before I launch into my rant about insensitive co-workers who dont get it.
ok, here goes...so I am a complete idiot and made the rookie mistake of confiding in a "concerned" co-worker last year as I was going through treatments. I felt the need to tell someone and she was very helpful covering assignments as well as helping me to deal with office politics. I didnt know her too well, but I did trust her and was grateful to unload the burden. Fast forward, she knows my whole history and all of the tragedies that I have been through in a relatively short time. Here is the issue...lately I have noticed (dont ask why I was an idiot and didnt notice before), but this woman cannot speak one sentence without mentioning kids, pregnancy, maternity leaves etc. Someone can bring up the most innocuous topic and she will bring it right back to the aforementioned topics.
Examples:
1) Me: "I could really use a new blackberry"
Her: "Yes, all the moms at the school need blackberrys so we can be reached at work if the kids are sick."
2) Me: "That was sweet of Jim to bring in the donuts for the meeting."
Her: "My kids LOVE dunkin donuts. we always bring them on car trips."
3) Me: "Did your parents have a nice trip to Italy?"
Her: "Yes, August is the best when school is out, cause it is ALL MOMS and KIDS and so much fun."
4) Me: "I am not feeling well today, some of the medication I am taking is giving me headaches."
Her: "I know exactly what you mean, I was violently ill from my prenatal vitamins that I took before I got PREGNANT."
Ok, you get the idea. This would be horribly unbearable even if she didnt know my history, but the fact that she knows upsets me so much. I cannot believe someone could actually be this insensitive and stupid. Any advice on how I can diplomatically deal?? I am very afraid of losing it on her...this is a youngihmson with whom I have constant contact. Can anyone relate? Advise? It is actually so cathartic to put this in writing, as i can see what an idiot some fertiles really are...thanks for your ears, advice and understanding...