Hello to all! I am new to the parenting boards after having dd one month ago today. I have been lurking for the past month on the parenting side but not getting enough sleep to be too active! After 7 years of ttc, surgeries, failed IUI's and three donor embryo cycles, we got pregant last year with twins. I was so nervous and superstitious about the pregnancy. I only told a few people and wouldn't let those people buy anything for the pregnancy. Had u/s at 12 weeks, both babies looked great. Finally started to tell more people. Told our church at 14 weeks, felt like we were safe. At 16 weeks, had u/s and had lost one of our babies. I was devastated and grieved for a couple of weeks, then tried to move past and focus on the remaining baby.
So, a month ago we had our daughter. Even in the delivery room, right afterwards, I wondered if I had passes the other fetus or if it had reabsorbed, but didn't ask. It had not been visible on u/s since 20 weeks. At 12 days postpartum, I was still bleeding quite heavily and then passed the fetus.
Then, yesterday my RE's office called to see if I had delivered yet. I had not kept in touch with them during the pregnancy, mostly because I didn't want to rehash the loss. So, I had to tell them yesterday. I just feel pretty down in the dumps. I am sooo grateful for our daughter, she is the most beautiful, amazing baby. But, I am tired and not sleeping, I feel kind of isolated at home all day just waiting for my husband to get home from work, and I am really sad that we did not have both babies.
I guess I just need a place to vent. I tried to talk to my husband about it but he doesn't really understand, he didn't really bond until the baby was here, so he hasn't felt this loss the same. I have wonderful friends, but they are all busy with their own families and work and going through things of their own.
If this isn't an appropriate place to post this, please let me know and I will delete.
Thanks for listening!
Sarah