*moving on from OE to DE, other people's pregnancies, other people's children, and my stillborn son mentioned*
OK, only you broads will understand this.
I made the decision a month ago that my OEs were officially done, but I continued to hold onto one last vial of donor sperm from my last IVF because I wasn't sure I was ready to really admit that was it. You know, just in case I wanted to do an IUI or something equally insane (frankly I could have just thrown the suckers in a nice protein shake and had more of a chance of getting pregnant). For logistical reasons, it was going to be too difficult to use in any future DE attempts. So I decided last week to say my final good bye to my own fertility and move on - and disposing of the vial was an important step in that symbolic goodbye.
Instead of just asking my clinic to toss it, I decided to contact someone on the DSR looking for that particular donor. I figured I would do some good with it, right? I would offer to provide the vial for free, but the woman/couple would need to pay transport and the storage fees I've incurred. I picked the first post and emailed her. First, her response:
Hi Kate,
Thank you so much for contacting me.
I'm am very INTERESTED in purchasing the vial that you have available!
Do you have any idea what shipping costs might be? Also, any other details would be helpful like if there is time limit on returning the tank, or if there are any withdrawal fees etc. I'm guessing it would need to be returned to the RE. Some places are very particular! In the meantime I'm going to find out from my OBGYN where I would be able to store the vial since she does not have onsite storage.
This is so exciting! My partner has a child by donor XXXX and I thought I might make a last ditch effort to see if anyone has any vials available since none are available to purchase. Even better than that would be to get pregnant on the 1st try 
Did you have any luck with this donor?
Looking forward to working with you to get the details sorted out!
Yes, I took a deep breath after reading that. Not her fault she's being so clueless. Yet.
I call my clinic and find that they charge an arm and a leg to 'release' the vial plus a hefty fee for use of their tank - basically, they want you to arrange the transport yourself and so I email clueless-most-likely-uber-fertile cow (CMLUFC) who actually probably WILL be successful on her first try that this is what it costs and either she arranges for transport or she can pay for hefty clinic fees. And yes, I explain, I was successful in a manner of speaking, although my son was stillborn at 7 months.
Her response:
*warning - multiple asinine exclamation points that appear to bear no relation to common human decency ahead*
Hi Kate,
Thanks for all the information. Yes, I am interested and would like to work out the logistics. My personal e-mail is CMLUFC@msn.com and my home phone number is 000-000-0000 and my cell is 000-000-0000.
I am currently looking into local places to store the vial. I called my OBGYN office on Friday - but they were closed. So I'm hoping to get more information early next week. However, I would also like to explore the possibility of just leaving the sample in storage at your RE and just have it shipped here when I need to use it, rather than shipping and storing again. Is there someone at your RE with whom you have been working with that I could speak to. My only concern would be that they only have 1 tank available. Normally, when you are trying to get pregnant you at least have a ball park of when I would need the vial shipped, so if they can confirm that it would be available then that might be the best option.
Have you been billed for storage at your REs yet? Perhaps - they would transfer the storage into my name and I can pay the balance if we decide to continue to have it stored there. Just a thought!
BTW - I'm really sorry about the fact that you had a still born baby! That must have been so hard to go thru, especially after carrying for so long!
Looking forward to working this out!
Have a great weekend!
gee, CMLUFC, that's really interesting about how normally when you try to get pregnant you need to have it shipped at a specific time! Who'da thunkit??!! And thanks! I appreciate your heartfelt condolences over the death of my child! It sure suxx when that happens, right??!!??
Damn, I should have emailed that back to her. Instead I wrote that yes, no one should ever outlive their child and that the two options I outlined in the first email were it. That frankly I wasn't interested in trying to figure out anything more complicated - and I hoped she would understand why. And the deadline for transport of the vial is by the end of March, otherwise it's going in the trash.
So now I await her !!!! response. Ugh. What we f*cking deal with.