Its one week today and I keep thinking about what I could have done that might have caused the miscarriage.
The Friday before I pushed a little harder than I should have. Not really hard. Probably not even hard by the standards of most pregnant women but looking back I keep wondering. I mean... I was carrying twins, I'm 41 which isn't young, I have some health issues, plus I keep thinking that IVF babies might be more fragile during early pregnancy because we have to balance the hormones.
I have run out of things to do to plan for our next cycle so I can't hide in that anymore. We leave for vacation tomorrow but and I will be with my husband 24/7 so I can't keep him from seeing me cry like I have been doing here. He keeps telling me it is not my fault and reminding me that women have been carrying babies to term working in rice fields in tropical heat so I couldn't have done any harm.
I guess this is normal but the other times I knew what caused the MCs. This time with no direct cause I feel like I am losing it.