Hello All,
I'm hoping someone out there has experienced something similar with their husband's reluctance to use donor eggs and can offer up some advice.
Our history - I have stage IV endo and were very fortunate to have our daughter on our first IVF in late 2006 when I was 36. We had no embryos to freeze.
We tried to cycle again in 2007 but I had some thyroid issues to address first. We finally were on the road to moving forward with a cycle in Sept 2009. In prep for the cycle, I had an ovarian cyst aspirated which got infected a couple weeks after surgery. I ended up going into septic shock, having an open abdominal surgery and lost my left ovary and fallopian tube in the process. We were told I would need to wait 4-6 months to try to cycle again and they weren't sure what additional damage was done to my remaining ovary and uterus as my entire abdomen was really infected. I had even more issues a couple of months into my recovery and ended up needing another surgery for a knot in my intestine caused by all the scar tissue and the removal of necrotic (dead) tissue in my abdomen (Nov 2009).
I am FINALLY healed and ready for the elusive cycle. We re-did bloodwork and my AMH is now .4. My RE said I'd have no better chance of success with IVF using my eggs than just trying on my own with that level and DE was our best bet. I agree and don't really want to put my body through any more than I have to given the last 6 months. I'm just so thankful the technology exists and there are women out there who are giving this amazing gift.
I thought my husband was on board but he is expressing doubts....things like being uncomfortable that if we do have a baby, he/she won't look like us and what will people think. We were in agreement that we would keep this private among a couple of very close friends and not tell family, at least initially. His parents are very traditional and I worry about how they might treat the child if they knew, at least initially. We planned to be open with our child about where he/she came from and family would find out over time. Really, I just am so thankful to even have this option and I'm a little floored as the baby will still have a genetic link to him. I guess I could understand it more if we were using a sperm donor.
We go this week (Tuesday) for our psych consult and I have one more test tomorrow to make sure my body is ready and able to carry (initial tests all look good and this is just the final one). My clinic has vitrified eggs ready to go so we would be cycling in April.
Has anyone experienced this? If so, how did your husband/significant other get past it? I'm considering cancelling our psych consult on Tuesday, especially if we can't get on the same page. He told me today that he just needed a couple more days to get "used" to the idea.
Thanks!
Susan