We did our first fresh cycle in Sept of 2008 and 2 frozen cycles back to back two resulting in a early m/c and one negative. Our second fresh was this past Feb resulting in Triplets. As I'm sure I can speak for most people we were shocked and overwhelmed but excited. Over time I kept asking myself how will I do it, 3 babies is a lot of responsibility and I quickly realized that god gave me an amazing gift, he must know I could do it.
I was married before for 18 years that marriage gave me 2 beautiful children a DD 18 and a DS 15. I had a tubule ligation at the age of 21, big mistake.
My DH and I married in April of last year. My DH has never been married or had children so, we decided I wasnt getting any younger; I was already 34 when we started IVF.
On Wednesday June 22nd I went for a regular visit with my peri and found out that our identical twin girls had developed stage 3 out of 4 (ttt) Twin to twin transfusion. This usually starts earlier in most cases I was already 21 weeks. My doctor seems to think this started suddenly over the past few days. Sunday and Monday I kept saying I felt wired and couldnt wait to go in on Wednesday. My dh and I had 2 chooses, 1 let nature take it's course and risk my life and the whole pregnancy or S/D. Before I could comprehend what was going on I was admitted to L&D and then on a plane headed to NY to see Dr Evens. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong on that miserable trip, from flight delays to crickets on the plane. So, the day was here and it was time to go through with the decision we had made. It was painful and I was sick and wanted to berry my head and die. I've have never been through something like that and never dreamed I would be making the decision to stop the heart beats of my children that I already loved and bonded with. I felt their first kicks, saw their heart beats, painted their room, bought them matching cloths, the shower invitations that said 3 pees in a pod were sent out and friends were buying gifts for them. I felt I was being punished for something and god changed his mind.
Over the past few days I realize that thing just happen and we all have to make decisions that life brings us. None of us deserve to have to make these decisions, all we ever wont is to have a normal pregnancy and healthy children. Don't be like me and beat yourself up. I know I did what I had to, to save my son and myself.
The hardest part of all this is, I now have to live with these two babies in side of me until I deliver my son. Maybe after I can put my life back together and enjoy my precious baby boy.
Good luck to you.
Tracy 22wk 1day with baby boy