Hi all: I was wondering if those who have gone through the DE process (successfully or not) would share their thoughts about donor age and proven versus unproven donors.
We are vets of more IVFs that we want to count or admit to, and very jaded. We are unexplained with 2 positives with my own eggs, but never advancing very far. I am now in my 40s.
Moving on to DE, we have had 2 resounding failures with no positives and no frozens.
Our first Donor was a 23 first time Donor. Our second Donor was a 30 year old Donor who had previously donated, and to add insult to injury, on our shared cycle was successful for the other couple (I'm happy for the other couple but of course, it was doubly devastating for us).
We are now trying to decide on a 31 year old donor who is a first time donor. We are a difficult to match couple due lack of donors. Each match is a year's wait at our clinic. We've been tested, tried everything, go to a top clinic etc.
I wondering if anyone would share their thoughts. I almost feel we don't have a choice to turn this Donor down as the wait is so long. There is no certainty and it feels like such a **** shoot. And we are terrified of failing again and again. Each failure has been heartbreaking, and put severe strains on our relationship. We are at a particularly difficult time, and the infertility is a big part of it.
My question is would you be turned off by a 31 year old untried donor. Do many people have success stories with older donors? And especially with someone who is untried.
Thanks for any thoughts.