WARNING: first 3 paragraphs are just me rambling about my unbelievable stupidity!! That said - I really could use some advice/help so feel free to skip down to the bottom 
I am the worst mother and an idiot to boot. DS#1 was sensitive to milk. I was having issues with BFing DS#2 weeks ago and several of you said it could be a dairy issue. Did I listen and give up milk - no. Today it all came to a head and I finally realized DS#2 really really has a problem with dairy. I can not believe I was so stupid and blind about this. It just presented in different ways then DS#1 that I kept thinking I did not have to eliminate dairy.
I knew he had a gassiness issue but just kept giving him the mylicon drops.
DS#2 has had a cough for weeks, He has been congested and a little wheezy for almost a month. I kept thinking it was just winter and he had colds. He has had a bunch of skin rashes and weird dryness patches etc etc and I just kept trying different lotions. We call him budda boy b/c he has such a big belly but suddenly I am noticing it is sort of hard and bloated more than just big. DS poops alot - it is very different that DS#1's baby poop but I just thought baby's are different. It was much greener, watery, smellier (is that a word?) and he seemed to have trouble with elimination. Stupid me chalked all that up to "well he is just different". He did not have such an issue with spitting up which was a big sign with DS#1 untill 2-3 days ago and all the sudden the spit up has really gone up more than a notch or two; add in that there is also more like vomit at times as well as the spit up and I suddenly started to think maybe we have a problem. Well today all the sudden he is screaming in pain most of the day, can only sleep in 20 min spells and then startles awake - in pain. When he is in pain the one thing that seem to help him is to lift him up over my head like he is flying with both hands under and pressing on his belly. Bottom line is I am an idiot I just started googling dairy sensitivities etc and he had 99% ofthe symptoms. How could I not realize this? How could I have been such an idiot???
Sorry to ramble I just need to spell it all out b/c I can not believe I could miss so much. I was just plain blind to so many signs - how is that possible. Yes I am exhausted b/c he is still waking every 2.5-3 hours 5-6 out of 7 nights but why didn't my mommy intuition kick in? How could I have missed all this ESPECIALLY after 2-3 people here told me to be aware this might be an issue for us. I am just so angry and beyond dissapointed with myself I do not know what to do.
OK SO I GET IT NOW I MUST ELIMINATE DAIRY ASAP. I have read all the kellymom links and get what needs to come out of my diet. I know it can take 2-3 weeks. My questions are for those who have done this
1. Did it really take that long till you saw some improvements for DC?
2. I am thinking of getting dairy free formula and pumping and dumping for 2 weeks - has anyone done this?
3. Of the dairy free formulas does anyone have a recommendation?
4. MOST IMPORTANT...is there anything I can do for DS while I am trying to get dairy out of his system? I am shocked what a tough time he is having. I mean all the stuff I mentioned has benn an issue for him for weeks but the stomach pain has just skyrocketed in the last 24 hours. Mylicon helps a little but not much. Gripe water seems to have less effect. Do I need to get some reflux meds from ped?
4. Any other advice? I promise to listen this time