MC mentioned, children and success mentioned
In 9 days I am going to board a plane and fly 18 hours to the Czech Republic to do IVF with donor eggs. I have been planning this since my last MC and I am ok with it because it is cost effective ($7,500 for everything including eggs, medical care, meds, airfare, food and a nice hotel... gotta love that exchange rate) but because of the language barrier etc there is not the same level of hand holding one gets with a clinic just around the corner. Like most of y'all we keep saying this is the last one although we said that last cycle too.
I will be honest I want to have twins. There I said it. I know we are not supposed to admit that we are trying for twins but the only way I can afford to do IVf with donor eggs is to leave the country. Due to age we really can't wait for the baby from this cycle to get to the point that traveling would be easy before trying again so if I am going to have 2 I need to do it all at once. My husband wants to transfer 3 with hopes of getting 2 and I am so tempted.
The problem is that I am worried that I might become pregnant with triplets if I transfer 3. I am fine for taking care of three but the pregnant with triplets thing has me worried.
I recently miscarried twin due to genetic defects. They were from donor embryos from another womans cycle and had been frozen. When I lost them the doctors tested and told me that there were abnormalities. I later found out my IVF doctor had misrepresented the age of my embryo donors which is something that will not happen with donor eggs but the experience has left a scar. I keep feeling like I need to tranfer the 3 if I am going to get a baby but I know that is irrational. My egg donor is a 22 year old college student and the sperm donor is only 28 and both have had successes in the past so there should be no genetic defects. The cycle will be fresh instead of frozen which boosts my chances by a huge degree. I respond well to meds and produce a good lining. I know I am reacting to past experience that has no bearing on reality but my gut tells me to go with 3.
I have had a number of miscarriages in the past due to health issues that have been surgically corrected and should no longer be an issue. Even if everything is supposedly fixed with my health I have had a number of miscarriages in the past so I am paranoid. I have been told by doctors that in my case none of my miscarriages has any bearing on my ability to carry a child because the circumstances have been resolved but at the same time I still worry.
I read Dr Luke's book on carrying multiples and I think I have a good shot at success even if I become pregnant with 3. On the plus side I am able to do all the things that would make for a successful multiple pregnancy. I can stop working early and take it easy without ending up homeless or having a boss mad at me. That means I can rest and be stress free. I am not short and that is important. I also have had three successful pregnancies with large babies in my 20s which means my body can cope with pregnancy. So I guess I should feel more secure than I am feeling but I have to weigh the other side of that. My youngest child is now an Army medic so we are talking about a huge time gap and while the basic structure is good I am in my 40s now so I do not know how much good that does me. The only real negatives are that I am heavy (IVF meds and surgeries put the weight on me over the past few years) and that I have the digestive issues and if I have more than 1 in there I might need to drink Ensure etc to get enough calories and nutrition. So while I am not ideal I am far from a horrible prospect.
I see lots of talk about just transfering one with donor embies so I feel like I am a bad person for even thinking about this but when I do a reality check this might be the best option.
If you were me would you risk triplets in hopes of getting twins?